Moose-Filled Chocolate Review

Yesterday I joined the Acme Review Company's mailing list, and I though the first thing I would review from their catalog would be some nice chocolate.  Despite Forrest Gump's famous assertion, it's hard to go wrong with a good old cacao bean product, right?

Wrong.

Apparently the telephone customer service representative does not understand English syntax, because instead of receiving mousse-filled chocolate, I received moose-filled chocolate.

Yes, an entire moose.  Antlers and all.

Unfortunately, one of the tenets of the Acme Review Company is that when one of its reviewers receives a product to review, said reviewer is bound by law to review it.  (Hungry Weasels are mentioned in their List of Potential Dire Consequences, just to give you an idea.)  So, here goes nothing.

Moose-Filled Chocolate

Pros:
-Has chocolate.  Chocolate is good.
-Contains moose.  Moose is all-natural and preservative-free.
-Highly decorative.  Could make quite a talking piece in the living room.
-Can perhaps be used in place of a chocolate Easter Bunny for Canadian children?

Cons:
-It's FREAKIN' HUGE.  No one person could eat this in one sitting. (That is, provided they could stomach the thing at all.)
-In my opinion, it's a terrible idea to try to combine two courses in this fashion.  Yes it saves time, but... hair?  Hooves?  Antlers?
-How the heck did this confection get made, anyway?  Did the company lure a moose into a vat of chocolate?  Did the moose randomly wander in, and the company had to sell it on Ebay to make up for the lost profit of an entire chocolate batch?  Did the moose spontaneously manifest the ability to sweat chocolate?  No explanation suffices for this dessert's origins.

Verdict:
As much as I appreciate the efforts and genius of great culinary masters such as Swedish Chef, I must end this review with a "one thumb down" rating.  And I certainly hope the Acme Reviews Company will get their act together for the next time I review one of their products.