I went in expecting to buy a fish to put in an old glass bowl I have. I came out with an entire aggregation of fish, an aquarium bigger than I am with all its accoutrements, a lifetime subscription to a fish magazine, and a kit for keeping my fish looking their best.
When I got the kit home, I found that some of its tools made sense. There are pills to help keep the water from growing an overabundance of algae, a little thermostat to keep the water properly regulated, and vitamin droplets to keep my new fishy friends healthy. The one piece of equipment that I'm a little unsure of is the thing I'm going to review today.
Fish Hair Dryer
(Disagreeing Mermaid disagrees with this review's verdict.)
Pros:
-If one of their fish suddenly sprouted hair, a savvy fish owner who had one of these babies would find himself prepared for Hairy Fish Armageddon.
-Useful for flummoxing nosy house guests. "What's that?" "A fish hair dryer." "...Oh."
Cons:
-Used outside of the fish's aqueous environment, it will probably kill its intended recipient before it can do all that much drying.
-Used in the water, it will probably kill ME.
-Fine print contains alarming warnings concerning various places one should not stick this hair dryer while in use. Do people really do that? Dear God, WHY?
Verdict:
At first glance, I would have rated this product three big, stinky fishes. HOWEVER, I can only surmise that a product this pointless must have been thought up by a governmental organization that suddenly found itself inundated with an overabundance of "stimulus" dollars that it was required to spend in as quick a fashion as possible. In other words, this product was never intended to actually make any useful contribution to society other than "get bought." And since I bought it, it has inarguably served its purpose. Therefore, my final product rating is three big, stinky fishes and a Nobel Prize on a sesame seed bun.
(John Maynard Keynes, look upon thy intellectual progeny and weep.)
